The Problem with Wikileaks (for us, not the The Man)

The next Bond villain?

Wikileaks and its enigmatic silver haired, Bond-villain like leader, Julian Assange, came into our consciousness with a resounding 'WTF!' (as said by governments around the world). I think any true lover of freedom will applaud the intent and actions of Wikileaks, as it seems to be removing the veil of secrecy and hypocrisy worn brazenly by First World nations, and the US in particular.

While Wikileaks seems to have become a much-needed thorn in the side of the West, especially with the latest revelations, there are a few issues and questions that naturally arise:

• Why do Governments condemn Wikileaks instead of their own people who are the ones clearly 'leaking the Wiki'? US senators called for the site to be branded a terrorist organization - wouldn't that make the leakers terrorists too?

• Governments can clearly leak what they wish for their own purposes (which makes said Governments complicit in terrorism if US senators get their way - see previous point). This latest leak is more problematic for the Middle East than the US as it has the potential to divide the Region (based on the 'fact' that Saudi Arabia has been asking the US to bomb Iran's nuclear facilities). This leak definitively supports a Western agenda and works in favor of the US who would like nothing more than a divided Middle East. Quite honestly, this latest leak actually has the US coming out looking pretty good - but not too good. But good enough. Look at this BBC condensation of the contents and judge for yourself. 

• No doubt the credibility and agenda of Wikileaks will be questioned. Surely conspiracy theories as to its true origin will (or already have) arise. Is it truly an independent body, or part of the West's propaganda machine? The bit of info that most supports the latest US mission most of all - and no doubt will take centre stage in Western media outlets - is the alleged acquisition of North Korean WMD's by Iran. The now, Twosome of Evil (Iraq was after all saved by an American Bootoscopy), is really being set up for an all-out Iraq style US invasion and just in time for the fresh NK/SK conflict. Coincidence?

• If Wikileaks is truly independent, how can it be sure that 'leaks' are truly 'leaks' and not political PR and power plays (see point 2)?

• Will Julian Assange reveal that he is the Anti-Christ by 2012, and is Obama going to be consumed with jealousy as a result?

That's all I've got. Feel free to add what you will. I gotta take a leak.

[EDIT: check this link for at least one differing view on the Leak courtesy of Ahmadinejad]

More Interesting Facts (& Rumours) About Living in the UAE

1. You need a licence to buy alcohol and keep it in your house.

2. You need a licence to dance. Yea you heard me, a licence to dance.
If holding a function of any kind you will need a ream of permissions, among them the permission to dance.

3. Dancing in public is frowned upon as is singing out aloud.

4. Alcohol is not sold openly - only in tourist areas like Hotels. You can get arrested for improper use of alcohol.

5. Emiratis are nicer people than you have heard.

6. Western culture is becoming quite dominant in the UAE and beginning to override local customs and standards.

7. Dishdashas (worn by local men) and Abayas (for women) are rather elegant (IMHO) and can be quite fashionable and chic.

8. Proper policing of traffic has only recently begun in the UAE.

9. There are a range of nationalities within the UAE including Indonesian, Indian, Pakistani, Lebanese, Egyptian, assorted European, American, Jamaican (Ya Mon!) and Filipino...oh yes and some Emiratis (only 20% of the population though).

Interesting Facts (& Rumours) About Living in the UAE

It'll be exactly 2 months tomorrow since my Empress and I moved to the UAE and we've learned, heard and seen all kinds of interesting things since touching down. These are but a few of them and the list will grow as time goes on. So in no particular order:

1. An Emirati (name for the locals) male can marry up to 4 women at a time. He can get a sum of money and a piece of land for each one he marries (through loans which are routinely waived).

2. You may see someone washing his feet in the face basin of the public toilet. I did and it seemed...ok.

3. When a Sheik passes away all the radio stations are required to play Muslim chanting/prayers for 7 days. It happened just today (27/10/2010) during the morning news on Radio One mid-sentence. Literally mid-sentence.

4. Every Emirati is entitled to a stipend from the Government, employed or not.

5. Locals pay no utility bills and all health care is free.

6. You can get arrested for eating in public during Ramadan.

7. You can get arrested for wearing inappropriate clothing or inappropriate public displays of affection.

8. Some Indian men routinely hold hands in public (totally cultural, nothing sexual), but it's cool. However, unmarried persons of the opposite sex could be jailed for doing the same.

9. You are often paid according to your race and/or nationality. Pay increases with the progressive lightness of your skin.

10. Skin lightening products are openly advertised and sold here. One of India's most prominent actors, Shahrukh Khan, is the spokesperson.

11. The food is pretty awesome, especially Lebanese and Filipino food.

12. You must do a medical in order to take up employment here. You can get deported immediately (if working with kids or food) if found to have a contagious disease (like Hepatitis). Get a medical done before you arrive.

13. It's more open and liberal then you hear it is.

14. Emiratis are human beings and behave as such.

15. It's very cheap to hire a maid here. Very often Filipinos are maids and sometimes terribly exploited. Some Westerners get a kick out of having a maid because it makes them feel better about themselves. They are idiots.

16. Laws and policies can change very quickly here as they are done by decree rather than democratic process.

17. Dubai is the London/New York of the UAE. Abu Dhabi is the Coventry of the UAE. Coventry is the Coventry of England.

Robots V Man: Why The Obsession?

I'm not sure who was the first to propose that Mankind's ultimate demise would be brought on by his own sentient robotic creations, but it has caught on with no discernible association to reality whatsoever - except maybe an environmental implication.

Asimov's I, Robot series came out in the 1950's but Fritz Lang's Metropolis appeared in 1927. Since then a slew of apocalyptic films/books on the near extermination of mankind via automaton have been produced including Stephen King's Maximum Overdrive, Runaway with Tom Selleck, the cult classic Blade Runner, The Matrix trilogy, The Terminator series and more recently Tim Burton's 9. Waiting in the wings is Spielberg with something called Robopocalypse (based on a novel). Robopocalypse? It might be good - but what kind of name is that? If it's a satire, then I can understand, but it's going to be hard to take a movie with a name like that seriously.

That said, the main question is why we have become obsessed and fixated on this idea of technology as the bane of mankind - more specifically, technology as deadly, autonomous reservoir of intelligence and choice.  

I can see how our use of technology through biological and nuclear weaponry could lead to a serious crisis. Even the impact of industry on the environment. But robots coming to life and demanding to write poetry and live out a life of free choice? No, not happening. If anybody is going to kill Mankind it will be Mankind - and it will have nothing to do with intelligence, artificial or otherwise. 

If anything, our greatest weakness is the digital age. This was  insightfully implied in John Carpenter's Escape From LA with Kurt Russell reprising his role as Snake Plisskin. A generally bad movie, it had Snake plunging the Earth back to the 'Dark Ages' at the push of a button, wiping away the World's progress by permanently shutting down all power via satellite. Then with eye-patch-like coolness he grunts, 'Welcome to the human race'. We've all wanted to do that. 

Think about it. Everything is going digital, and by extension is becoming highly connected, one mega hard drive crash and we have to start from scratch. Granted, not everything is digital yet, so we should be safe for a few years more - but only a few. 

After the nuclear winter when the remnant of humanity surfaces, significantly stupider than pre-apocalypse, they will hardly know what to do with a laptop, should they find one. A book would be easier to figure out and no batteries necessary. 

What we may be obsessed with is the fact that much of what we fabricate will outlive us, toilet bowls will live for thousands of years, long after we've Tweeted our latest bowel movement to Cyberspace. There is also the Matrix premise that our progress comes at the very cost of our own lives. The energy needed to run our World and its many contraptions is, in essence, our own life energy sacrificed for the sake of profit and comfort. Otherwise, the closest battle between man and machine to date is right below and we clearly win!

The lesson here is clear. The World needs to be a Mac rather than a PC. 

Giving Parenthood a Test Drive

Have I rented out a newborn for a few months to give parenthood the 'ol once over? No, but my wife and I are temporarily living with friends (we are in the thick of moving home) who have a newborn and a 2 year old, so I'm considering it a trial run.

Don't get me wrong, we're not considering having kids. But we know time is running out and sometimes think 'what if?'. This thought is quickly followed up with a 'hell no!' upon the hint of a dirty diaper insinuating itself into my personal air space. That and a few other things.

Based on my short time in such close proximity to the vocation, I have gathered through watching and babysitting etc., that kids reshape your life in profound ways. They determine when, where and what you eat and for how long. They determine where you live. What you wear. What you smell like. How much energy you have - or don't have. How much money...you don't have. They take, and take, and need, and need, and demand and wail and scream and, allegedly, give back only when they hook you up with a nicely appointed old age home...if they don't kill you for the inheritance first (my folks know what to expect - the old age home, they're broke). 

You can only get on a bus if there is enough room for the pram. We had to eat at McDonald's (ewwwwww) because that's what the kid eats, and then only if you can find a seat where the pram can fit. The newborn has to eat every 2 minutes so life must stop for that, and the stygian banshee wailing ensures that life stops for that. The house, schedule, indeed your life,  literally become theirs, and they don't seem to give a flying hoot.

I am amazed at the satiric accuracy of Family Guy's, Stewie, whose misomater shenanigans aren't that far from the truth. Children are masterminds of manipulation, and parents always seem to be the easiest to dupe! They smile, cry, pout, rage, holler, sob, laugh, hug and sometimes listen to you, all to get their way. They wrap mom and dad around their still developing little fingers with the ease and expertise of a practiced person-who-does-that-stuff-expertly. Not to mention the sibling rivalry that starts from day one. Sigh. 

No doubt, kids are a delight...in small doses. I love to hold the newborn and have gotten pretty good at getting her to sleep and such. Warming to the 2 year old, a very intelligent girl who loves to test the limits of disobedience, but has a confident and sunny personality. Their parents are wonderful people and in my inexpert opinion, are doing well at their chosen task. They love their kids and their kids love them (I think - you can never tell with those little freaks).  But so far the general message is that parenthood just isn't for me, I don't wanna share my stuff with anybody I guess.