What you are about to read could put your life (and mine) in grave danger. These are things men are not permitted to know and have the potential to bring down the deep, wide and altogether monolithic superstructure that is Womanhood.
Certainly, what I am about to reveal has been a closely gaurded secret since Eve conspired with the snake/serpent/devil to swindle Adam out of Creation (of course now we know Eve swindled both Adam AND the Serpent who now has a one way ticket to the darkest pits of hell).
I have (like all men) come to suspect that a written manifesto has been circulating since Gutenburg invented the printing press, passed on orally before that time, amongst women. This manifesto outlines all the rules, goals, aims and techniques of womanhood - it is the reason for both the power women hold over men and the paradoxical state of simultaneous unity and disunity in womankind.
This WoManifesto is the reason why the female of the species all seem to agree on everything regarding men, can communicate non-verbally at incredibly long distances, all love to sing 'I Will Survive' angrily at their men even if happily married/dating and never been cheated on, watch and cry at the Lifetime Channel and a host of other interesting and terrifying facts I can't get into now for fear of my life. Indeed my source must remain undisclosed, but it is likely that the content is very nearly verbatim.
Now it is well known that men have no such manifesto - and this is our greatest weakness and failing. Like Black people, men have no sense of unity or organization - hence we are left vulnerable and easily exploited by those who are well mobilized by a singular purposeful focus. Women, knowing how stupid we are, have taken full advantage of this, hence the contents of this note have the potential to upset the balance of power. But as men are blockheads - they won't be reading this, they will be watching the NBA Playoffs and the FA Cup - two sporting events invented by women to ensure sustained domination.
The Secrets
1. Do nothing by accident. That's right, you never met your significant other 'by chance' as you have hitherto thought. It was all planned at least 5 days in advance when you 'accidentally bumped into her' at the bank. It was orchestrated by her and perhaps with the help of other women as has everything since that time. The spontaneous way she asks you about about the financial plan for the next 5 years has been planned for years before. The fact that she demands you give her and answer in 5 minutes is part of her domination strategy. You will of course feel like a thoughtless fool - this is when she proposes her completely 'spontaneous' financial outlay. It should be noted that arguments are precipitated for specific purposes among them 'to see how he will react', 'to generate guilt' (see point 5), 'because there is nothing else to do' and indeed some women think that lack of arguments mean the relationship is not 'real'.
2. Don't trust anyone - especially each other. Women are incessantly and perpetually paranoid. They don't trust anyone - least of all other women because they all know what is in the confounded WoManifesto and know that they cannot be trusted. Men would feel the same way - but we don't know what's in the said manifesto and it's better that way. Women (and they are separated into various types - but that is another expose altogether) have corporate and individual aims. Some have no other goal but to get other women's men to look at them in order to make other women feel unattractive and they themselves can feel like a hotty. If a man looks at them, but he is single - it is worthless. The single most powerful thing a woman can do is 'steal' another woman's man as it elevates her in the pecking order. This is why women don't trust other women.
3. Pretend like you don't know what's going on. This is very important and is the basis for controlling mankind. Helpless females don't actually exist - they are expert mechanics, rocket scientists, tyre changers etc - ALL OF THEM. But pretending like they don't have a clue about certain things primes a man for endless service and makes him 'feel manly'. This 'manly' feeling is addictive and keeps us subservient. More importantly however, is emotional control. After thoroughly emasculating you through constant verbal attacks she will then wonder out loud what it could possibly be that's bothering you once you pluck up the courage to say something about the perpetual onslaught. She will appear completely oblivious and admit that all she wanted to do was to express that she thought you were the kitchen floor - an honest mistake.
4. Never be satisfied - even if you are. A central teaching in the WoManifesto. Once a woman knows her man loves her it is essential that she never express happiness and satisfaction. A man in love will do anything to make his woman happy - if she is not happy he will keep trying until she is. Hence, in order to ensure a steady stream of happiness-inducing acts one must never, ever under any circumstances express contentment or satisfaction in case he loses his edge and 'drops off of shape'. This of course comes with the risk that he may look for a woman he can satisfy - but they don't exist anyway, so he is doomed. Part of this 'quest of dissatisfaction' is perfecting the art of blaming everything - EVERYTHING - on the man. Once he believes everything is his fault (and it is - see I have been successfully indoctrinated) control is a fait accompli.
5. When in doubt - get angry or cry. To a man, a woman's anger/tears is more terrifying than anything else in Creation. Men would prefer to endure marauding wild animals, warfare and/or a vicious physical assault by drunken strangers (or assualt a stranger while drunk) than deal with a woman's anger/tears, this is proven by the level of violence and warfare in society. But this is a good last resort when on the verge of having to admit a weakness, error or mistake and is closely linked to point 4. This is part of another effort of some women to remain at the centre of attention at all times - but this will be elaborated on at another time - when it is decidedly safer.
Women who get angry at or disagree with these points are merely exercising points 3 and 5 - don't be fooled.
NOTE: Men are marginal in this manifesto as a means to an ends - the real battle is amongst women. Men provide little or no resistance but women are much more worthy adversaries for each other and spend inordinate amounts of time trying to get the one up on each other. No one knows why just yet - including women themselves.
PS I love my Empress
C. Arthur Young
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