Usain Bolt: A New Kind of Champion

The focus of many commentators, reporters and other athletes regarding Usain Bolt has been (apart from his speed) his colourful personality. He has shown us all, not a just a new way to finish a race, but a new to start one.

The old school athletics dripped with aggression, intimidation, bravado, over-seriousness and an insular kind of focus that now palls in the face of Usain's joy, mischievous spirit and relaxed inclusive approach. It even seems to have rubbed off on Asafa Powell - and helped!

When the Americans were dominant (and they can still run - don't get me wrong) we looked on as they grimaced intimidatingly in the pre-race warm-up ritual (as demonstrated by Gay's stony display at the IAAF World Championship 100m final). And the finish? Well an American victory meant there was shouting, ripping off of jerseys and showing off of abs and the dominant alpha-dog posturing (mainly among the men) that made us just that much more grudging of their success.

Now Bolt showboats like nobody's business, but one wants to celebrate with him - not grudge him. Mind you, the massive gap between himself and his nearest competitor helps justify his exuberance - but that's the point - we are not intimidated by his approach, just his performance and ability. We are entertained by his approach rather than insulted.

Now more than ever, Ato Bolden's (NBC commentator) and Jacque Rogge's (IOC President) admonition of Bolt's celebration after his record breaking Olympic performance, seem petty, even irrelevant. As it is, some seem to think that NBC is now ignoring Bolt. Sour grapes?

The other side of course, is that Bolt is a sponsor's dream. Indeed, he has all the players in the track and field industry salivating at his marketability and pulling power. He fills stadiums and his personality can, will and has sold products (take note of the Bolt Arms). Whether we like it or not, money talks, and as long as Bolt being Bolt keeps the cash registers ringing, everybody will be happy, except those losing to him, and even then. But one can well imagine sponsors pressing the networks, media houses and governing officials to let Bolt do what he does best for the sake of the bottom line.

There is no doubt that Bolt is more than the best thing that happened to Jamaican athletics - he's the best thing that happened to athletics, period. He is doing for track and field what Michael Jordan did for the American NBA franchise and what Tiger Woods has done for golf. And like all products (and Bolt is fast becoming a brand) there are competitors.

It wouldn't be unreasonable to assume that some shoe brand or country or track club with the resources, is now scouring every corner of the earth to find a six-foot five sprinter. Every Britney Spears needs a Christina Aguilera. Every Coke needs a Pepsi. Every Nike needs a Puma. Will they find Bolt's Federer? Michael Johnson suggested during the IAAF coverage, that another like him wouldn't appear in his (Johnson's) lifetime.

Perhaps we should just sit back and enjoy the show that we have all been privileged to see.

Your Dedications to Jamaica's Athletes

As a Jamaican I am filled with not just a sense of pride - but of self-respect because of how well our athletes have represented our country as a whole, and by extension myself as a citizen thereof, both on and off the track.

Greatness begets greatness. Even if it is merely the hope of greatness that springs from seeing a fellow countryman or woman attain it. But all greatness begins as hope doesn't it? The effect of what we are witnessing through the success of our athletes, and Usain in particular, is continually sending a simple but profound message to every Jamaican: You can do it too.

The power of precedence should never be underestimated. Now that it has been set - now that our potential has been realized we can no longer deny who we are, it has been proven beyond the shadow of doubt far too often. It is not just that we can run fast - it is that we do it with a laugh and a smile, and ask the world to join us - not just watch us. True greatness doesn't monopolize the spotlight, it wants as much company as possible.

Indeed, it is not just that we run with a laugh and a smile - but what that says about how we live when we are at our best.

Nuff said.

If you have any thoughts, dedications, emotions that you want to share in the wake of Jamaica's amazing experience at the IAAF World Championships - please share them whomever and wherever you are.

Is George Bush Really Male? To Verify or Not to Verify

In the wake of 18 year old 800m World Champion, Caster Semenya's gender ambiguity the world has been thrown into turmoil, chaos and calamity.

With her gender verification well underway, the world at large has suddenly realized that there are a vast number of public figures whose gender have not been decisively publicly verified. 'Truly, how can we be sure unless we subject each and every one of them to a battery of tests to make sure we have been idolizing and attracted to the person of the gender appropriate to our orientation', said one concerned man...or woman. Panic-stricken gay men worldwide have voiced horror at the possibility of finding they have been pining after a female Brad Pitt. One young man was seen in a foetal position clutching a photo of Halle Berry, his only words were 'please...please'.

At the centre of this genderific controversy, however, is George W. Bush. Some are theorizing that without concrete proof of gender, Bush may have in fact been the USA's first female president. Indeed his masculinity has not been proven beyond doubt, though there is strong evidence that he may be closely related (at least in terms of chromosomic make up) to a notorious chipmunk with a disturbed past.

Still, the relevant authorities are making the necessary steps to begin the verification process on former president Bush. Former vice president Cheney was reportedly quoted as saying 'George was always kinda like a daughter to me...I should have questioned it'.

The questions and rumours abound as do gender verification advocacy groups that have long been regarded as blockheads - but their blockhead status has yet to be verified depending on the successful lobby of blockhead verification groups. One group in particular, Fictional Characters Decide Who the Heck You Are (FCDWHYA), is demanding the gender verification of Oscar the Grouch, Big Bird, Spongebob Squarepants and Miss Piggy. Their application is being considered by the US Senate.

Gender verification clinics have reported a sharp rise in clientele made up of mostly persons who are questioning their own gender. Many of said persons also ask to have their bodies searched for any sign of the Mark of the Beast.

August 2009

CAY

Caster Semenya: Mixed a Gender?

The young 800 meter World Champion, Caster Semenya's gender has come into question and is currently being verified by the IAAF. In truth, on seeing her for the first time one can't help but notice just how masculine she is - she is very masculine in appearance. The querying of her gender is quite understandable. (Con't after picture)

BBC1 reporters and commentators repeatedly stressed how embarrassing and inappropriate the investigation was - they repeated it so often one had to wonder if they were really concerned about Semenya's dignity and privacy. The loss of the gold would mean a silver medal for Jenny Meadows, the hard-working Brit who placed third in the 800m final. When asked what other athletes thought about Semenya's gender, Meadow's diplomatic but evasive answer spoke volumes.

Michael Johnson acknowledged the need for the test but said that the IAAF was going about it all wrong. This is true - but so is the media. The extreme attention and copious expressions of sympathy come across as disingenuous - if not downright hypocritical. Would the very public airing of this very private matter, at the time it took place ever have happened if the media wasn't complicit? Instead of singing on the issue, why not downplay it and let the IAAF do its work?

Certainly the IAAF is doing what is has to do - but could it not have been done with even a modicum of discretion?

Johnson also noted that cheating was rife in the past 10 years, but with regards to doping - would the extreme of gender reassignment really be worth a gold medal? And in Semenya's case, it wouldn't have been a convincing reassignment (no disrespect meant). At least one athlete, Stella Walsh, a Polish Olympic medalist in the 1930's, was found to be hermaphroditic decades after her victories (upon her tragic death). That is not something for which she can be blamed. The point is that something as intimate as one's gender can have any number of complications that don't include the intervention of man. Semenya could be one such case - or simply a masculine looking female.

Kudos to Semenya herself who, at just 18, has risen to the top of her field despite almost getting herself and the former 800m world champion disqualified and then running under the fickle microscope of public opinion only to win confidently and convincingly. Good for her.

The results have yet to come out and may take weeks or months. But whatever happens it's too late to be discrete or sensitive about the situation. If there is some wrongdoing involved it might just be more than Semenya who is guilty of it.

Watch the video

Great Has a Number: An Ode to Usain Bolt on a new world record

Great has colour: black, green & gold

It has a name and a number - it is lightening and thunder.

Great has a new name for the old one is old

Because new stories of greatness are about to be told.

Great has a number and now the world knows

The greater the number, the lower it goes.

It has shape and form, swagger and style

And makes minutes look longer - much longer than miles.

If Great has a number, what is the number of Great?

It's one number in three: 9.58

5ive Things I Don't Get: from Jazz notes to Horn Tooting

1. Jazz - Have you ever watched someone listen to Jazz? They get this expression that's a cross between severe constipation and extreme discontent with the state of the world's economy - chin on fist. Music that has this effect can't be good for you. Jazz was invented by people who want to feel that what they listen to is real music but is actually a group of people doing whatever they feel like with what happens to be a musical instrument. Jazz is the modern art of the music world. If used soap or a toilet bowl can pass as art - then I guess Jazz can pass as music.

Honk if you're Hangry

2. Darn Tootin' - in places like the UK and Canada horn tooting is reserved only for very, very special occasions. In Jamaica we horn toot every chance we get. We have the 'thanks for giving me way' short beep, the 'the light just turned green .000001 milliseconds ago I can't believe you're still sitting there motionless' double-toot (preferred by taxi drivers), the 'you must be a confounded idiot can't you see I'm trying to run you off the road to get the red light to stop moving abruptly just in front of you' blare (also taxi driver preferred) and finally the 'blouse and skirt bredrin long time mi no see you which part yu deh, tell Aunt Maisi hello for mi and I will see you lata and remember dat ting whe yu have fa mi but no worry bout it still cause wi a good bredrin' rapid fire multi-toot long distance blurt. In the UK they only beep if they are absolutely certain that an approaching vehicle is going to smash into them at a rate that could result in multiple lacerations and the possibility of permanent skeletal and/or motor neurone damage with the likelihood of a lengthy inquiry into the cause of the smash-up coupled with a change in legislation and traffic management. If these things aren't likely then an accident is an acceptable outcome and the polite thing to do.

Route of all evil

3. Jamaican Taxi Drivers - If you don't know then point 2 would have already cued you in. They hold the firm belief that logic, courtesy, traffic laws and the laws of physics do not apply to them. They possess the skill to convince 12 people to squeeze into a 4 seater, successfully naviagate 2-wheel drive sedans in places that 4-wheel drive SUV's dare not go,cause & survive accidents that kill every one of the 12 people they convinced to get into their 4 seater and somehow manage to remain license holders in good standing albeit with 20 traffic citations while I lost my confounded license for 6 months after only 2 tickets! We all secretly want to be Jamaican taxi drivers (and are happy for them to law-break when we upon hiring their service are late).

4. The 12 People Who Squoze Into The 4-Seater Taxi - do I have to explain?

5. Bloggers - yes that's what I said. Especially the narcissists who somehow think anyone should give a hoot what they think about arbitrary lists of stuff nobody really thinks about anyway. Furthermore, who cares what they did or thought yesterday at Cousin Renford's house blah, blah, blah, blah, blah...blahdiblahblah.

Jamaica Gleaner News - Britain to track slave trade money - Lead Stories - Sunday | August 2, 2009

Jamaica Gleaner News - Britain to track slave trade money - Lead Stories - Sunday | August 2, 2009.

But Seriously: The 5ive Things Women Most Want

1. Someone they can respect - this comes first only because a man worthy of respect will show the same. Every woman craves a worthy man though power, physical aggression & wealth are often mistaken for the primary qualifiers of integrity, confidence, and diligence. A woman wants a man who can 'handle' her (even testing their partner by crossing the line - sometimes too far - life has enough real tests ladies). But a partner who wins their respect fulfils another valuable female need...

2. Security - women often seek out powerful, rich or physically aggressive men because such things, on their face, should provide a safe environment. One can't run a secure home without a sense of physical, financial and emotional security after all. But the shortfall occurs when actual security is sacrificed for its authentic looking evil brothers. True safety is found in fidelity, honesty & industry.

3. Love & Affection - this could be a lot of things: romance, thoughtfulness, gentleness even predicting/anticipating her needs & fancies. This doesn't mean round the clock concierge service but some demonstration of endearment, physical attraction (not just sexual desire) and understanding of her moods & what influences them. That her partner knows her range of preferences from choice of movie to a dry toilet seat. A dry toilet seat in the down position can be a real turn on. Weird but true. The evil siblings of love & affection are sweet nothings (or lyrics in Jamaica), sex, material gifts (not inherently evil but without sincerity often lead to disappointment at the hands of a Playa) & domination/control of her partner.

4. Laughter - who doesn't want and need to laugh? A man who can help her see the lighter side of situations, challenges & herself is prime real estate and easily beats a hard body or pretty face. A sense of humour is the difference between a conversation & an argument - a problem & an adventure. Laughter's doppleganger is excitement and here sensual stimulation through overindulgence in alcohol/drugs, over-the-top partying & even danger, replace a genuine love for life. Laughter is often a measure of friendship too, and that is the last point.

5.  Friendship - this is where the whole listening phenom comes into play. Friends can be goofy together, mess up and even be at their worst without fear of rejection. Pretty self explanatory. The distortion of friendship is co-dependency: the unrealistic expectation that the partner is her source of happiness and thus responsible for her well-being and vice-versa. It is this relationship that a woman can receive the sense that her opinion & feelings are highly valued.

The points are nothing new and really won't change with time as they are our most basic relational needs. The thing to consider is where we go wrong in our search to fulfil these natural requirements. All dissatisfaction and enmity, suggests CS Lewis,  is firmly founded in the distortion, misinterpretation and dysfunction of not just the needs in question, but our overall human condition.

Emancipation Day: Wake up & Dream

Happy Freedom Day Everybody!

It's a good thing to remember a time when the world sort of came to its senses. Why 'sort of''? Well you may or may not know that  when slavery was abolished in Britain it was done so at the convenience of the slave owners who were compensated for their loss of 'assets'.  The enslaved people went from being slaves to 'apprentices' and, as we all know, freedom itself came many many years later as being let go didn't quite mean one was free to enjoy the 'pursuit of happiness' given the circumstances.

The jagged and uneven ending of slavery will always leave a slightly bad taste, getting less so the farther away it becomes, being that the injustice has never been punished - indeed the perpetrators were rewarded and the victims remained well, victims. But in these modern times we have moved on a long way from being chattel to being a sovereign nation, governing our own affairs (which might also mean presiding over our own demise), creating a culture of our very own and slowly turning mud into bricks though sometimes we get the process a little mixed up.

We could easily get cynical but we can't argue with the fact that the descendants of enslaved people in the New World are indeed free. That's a very good thing. Not only are we free but some of us have become exceptionally important historical figures for various reasons (think Garvey, Bolt and Marley for example). That's a great thing.

Of course the emancipation has continued to this day, and necessarily so. At one point We were the victims and products of someone else's imagining and perception of the world. Now we are the victims and beneficiaries of our own vision of the world - such is the stuff of liberty. To be sure, our people have particularly vivid imaginations which we employ in astonishing ways on a daily basis with both hurtful and helpful results - known and little known outcomes.

It was my privilege to discover several years ago, that my  Grandfather, Arthur HW Williams I, was the first person to conduct a correspondence education course in Jamaica. This he did by regular snail mail, as we call it today. At the ceremony held to mark the accomplishment, an elderly man insisted he say something - quite unscheduled - and he informed the curious gathering that he had benefited from my Grandfather's courses decades before and thanked him face to face for the opportunity afforded him via this education by post. Amazing. Grandpa's son has gone on to become a successful lawyer and followed his father into the political arena (now a Minister of Government) not to mention his other son who is a plastic surgeon working with his sister, an OBGYN, operating a thriving private practice. Grandpa's eldest daughter is a successful and highly placed administrator at the University of the West Indies.

Grandpa is 96 now and still going strong. I can't help but surmise that a few generations before him would take us into slavery, and that he has lived at least half his life under colonial rule and the other half in an independent Jamaica - a country still a few decades younger than himself. I don't know what Grandpa's inner motivations, goals and visions were, but he excelled as a teacher, MP, Speaker of the House and representative of Jamaica at a time when much of what we were to become was still only a figment of our collective imagination. If he could have imagined his own accomplishments into reality, and in some way passed that vision on to his children -  then sweet dreams everybody. Sweet dreams.