Is George Bush Really Male? To Verify or Not to Verify

In the wake of 18 year old 800m World Champion, Caster Semenya's gender ambiguity the world has been thrown into turmoil, chaos and calamity.

With her gender verification well underway, the world at large has suddenly realized that there are a vast number of public figures whose gender have not been decisively publicly verified. 'Truly, how can we be sure unless we subject each and every one of them to a battery of tests to make sure we have been idolizing and attracted to the person of the gender appropriate to our orientation', said one concerned man...or woman. Panic-stricken gay men worldwide have voiced horror at the possibility of finding they have been pining after a female Brad Pitt. One young man was seen in a foetal position clutching a photo of Halle Berry, his only words were 'please...please'.

At the centre of this genderific controversy, however, is George W. Bush. Some are theorizing that without concrete proof of gender, Bush may have in fact been the USA's first female president. Indeed his masculinity has not been proven beyond doubt, though there is strong evidence that he may be closely related (at least in terms of chromosomic make up) to a notorious chipmunk with a disturbed past.

Still, the relevant authorities are making the necessary steps to begin the verification process on former president Bush. Former vice president Cheney was reportedly quoted as saying 'George was always kinda like a daughter to me...I should have questioned it'.

The questions and rumours abound as do gender verification advocacy groups that have long been regarded as blockheads - but their blockhead status has yet to be verified depending on the successful lobby of blockhead verification groups. One group in particular, Fictional Characters Decide Who the Heck You Are (FCDWHYA), is demanding the gender verification of Oscar the Grouch, Big Bird, Spongebob Squarepants and Miss Piggy. Their application is being considered by the US Senate.

Gender verification clinics have reported a sharp rise in clientele made up of mostly persons who are questioning their own gender. Many of said persons also ask to have their bodies searched for any sign of the Mark of the Beast.

August 2009

CAY