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| Rourke after a run-in with a bad-tempered surgical knife |
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| Joan Rivers fighting nature with desperation |
1. Elective Cosmetic Surgery. The fact is anyone who does cosmetic surgery, to their face in particular, doesn't look younger, poutier or perkier. They do look tighter, bulgier and weirder though. In short, they look like people who have had cosmetic surgery - not like people who suddenly and inexplicably experienced a reversal of the natural aging process. How in demand are actors who look like they've had surgery? Well, Mickey Rourke was perfect for The Wrestler since he already looked like he'd been beaten to a pulp in a dark alley by a wayward wad of collagen and a scalpel with a disturbed past.
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| Feeding the feeding frenzy that feeds the frenzy |
2.
Celeb Obsession. Why do people follow every waking moment of celebrities lives? We give them nicknames like
TomKat and
Brangelina. We want to know when they have opened their front gate and the velocity with which it was opened. We buy their saliva encrusted, snot infused tissue paper. We want to see them 'being normal' as opposed to hovering 6 inches off the ground and glowing that heavenly glow that celebs apparently have. We blog about celebrity...Doh!
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| Paris: looking so good you could peel and peg her |
3. Fake Tans. Granted, celebs aren't the only ones who explore the darker side of artificially synthesized melanine. But like cosmetic surgery, fake tans only make someone look like they have a fake tan. If the sun was meant to make us orange then Africa wouldn't be the 'Dark Continent' - it would be the 'Faaaaabulous Contintent'.
4.
Amy Winehouse. What...happened...how...why...why...what? Anyone? Anyone? Beuller?
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| Cruise filled with the spirit...of looney-wack |
5. Scientology. The religion itself is weird - but why do so many celebs flock to its mysterious strangeness? Does it account for Tom Cruise's sudden and unexpected dumping of Nicole Kidman? His terrifying and over-enthusiastic grappling of Oprah? His prodigious diminutive stature? Maybe his diminutive stature accounts for Scientology? Perhaps he is just an alien?
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