One Mile - an Ode to Muntadar al-Zaidi

Ah, the left foot of justice - whither hast thou flown?
Past the ear & over the head of Dubya thy breeze hath but blown.
So close you came to meeting your mark
But worn souls did dim your spark.

Why Lord, did you not make man with three legs?
Then this hapless scribe could have delivered the defeat that history begs,
Or at least got another chance to adjust his aim thither.

Hast the powers of the pen lost all their might,
And the eyes of the world lost all her sight,
That men now must stoop so low to go where most dare not go?
To tread where angels dare not tread
And throw your justice at his head?
Alas! It seems it can only be just so.

He exchanged his pen for a shoe - nay for two,
But his land has no need for shoes because she is on her knees,
And she no longer walks but crawls,
She no longer flies - but falls.

And yes, Uncle Sam had promised this would come to pass,
His way, after all, is to '...put a boot up their ass'.
Perhaps, this irate and unfriendly neighbour,
Was doing his best to return the favour?

Mayhap he thought, 'The one way for George to know is to go where misery goes. Perhaps he will stumble upon the truth after a mile or two in my shoes? I shall lend him my weary souls'.

Who can judge this man for the steps he took? Life is always another way when the shoe is on the other foot.

C. Arthur Young

5ive Things I Don't Get

You might be thinking 'who are you and why would I care about what you don't get?' Good question for which I don't have a good answer, except to say you might agree and hence find commiseration, or you might disagree vehemently and have someone to vent at. Either way, you're welcome.

[caption id="" align="alignright" width="180" caption="Hundreds regret their deodorant oversight"][/caption]

1. CARNIVAL. I know there are many self-proclaimed 'Carnival Te Te's' out there - no disrespect. If you enjoy it then have a good 'un. But I just don't see the fun in tromping half-naked in public in very close proximity to sweaty strangers (hepatitis comes to mind) in the boiling hot sun from one point to another. It's like the movement of refugees but with bottled spring water, sparkly pants & music - very repetitive music to which only one dance move can be done i.e. chip an' wine. Furthermore - I would have to pay to do this! I'm sorry, but if I was to participate in a carnival roadmarch someone would have to pay me!

[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="135" caption="Dress Shoe/Flipper combo?"][/caption]

2.POINTY MEN'S SHOES. They're in style and they're pointy (Winkle Pickers I understand they are called), sometimes with a little upturned toe to complete the Rumpelstilskinian look. But why would any normal footed male want to cram his feet into shoes that taper to a point merely milimeters across? Women apparently loooooove this stuff - but guys? Where is your sense of....common sense? If you wanted to make shish kebab with the tip of your shoe then fine. But surely getting from point A to point B would either be exceptionally painful or terribly embarrasing - I'm almost certain these shoes are a danger to small scurrying animals.

[caption id="" align="alignright" width="144" caption="Television for masochists"][/caption]

3.LIFETIME TV. Ok, every single story is about a woman who 'has to learn to love again' after being wronged by some jerk of a man. She spends the next 60 minutes crying and shouting at her 'estranged daughter', then meets a wonderful man who helps her to 'learn to love again'. And the film titles! Anything from 'The Deserted Wife' to 'I Lost my Daughter to a Man I Don't Trust' One doesn't have to guess the plot. Sigh. Why? Why all the depression and man-hating? Indeed, why all the misogyny? Lifetime can't be good for people struggling with depression and very likely contributes to the number of those who do.

[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="144" caption="Every way is the right way. Wrong!"][/caption]

4.MORAL RELATIVISM. The idea that morality is totally subjective, up to each individual to decide and there is no such thing as a 'sin'/wrongness just doesn't make sense. This would mean that the Holocaust & the Trans-Atlantic Slave Trade have no wrongness whatsover - indeed nothing would be wrong including pedophilia or even cheating on one's spouse. Jews, Africans, parents & children and spouses are likely to have a few feelings about the morality of the aforementioned list. Moral relativism suggests that nothing is wrong with everything - make sense? No, I don't think so either.

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="126" caption="Distilled essence of nastiness"][/caption]

5.MARMITE. YUUUUUUCK! If you don't know, you're one of the blessed. Nuff said.

I myself will add to this list but if there are things you 'don't get' please feel free to add em. For example - you may 'not get' people who don't get Carnival - touche.

One Mile - an Ode to Muntadar al-Zaidi

Ah, the left foot of justice - whither hast thou flown?
Past the ear & over the head of Dubya thy breeze hath but blown.
So close you came to meeting your mark
But worn souls did dim your spark.

Why Lord, did you not make man with three legs?
Then this hapless scribe could have delivered the defeat that history begs,
Or at least got another chance to adjust his aim thither.

Hast the powers of the pen lost all their might,
And the eyes of the world lost all her sight,
That men now must stoop so low to go where most dare not go?
To tread where angels dare not tread
And throw your justice at his head?
Alas! It seems it can only be just so.

He exchanged his pen for a shoe - nay for two,
But his land has no need for shoes because she is on her knees,
And she no longer walks but crawls,
She no longer flies - but falls.

And yes, Uncle Sam had promised this would come to pass,
His way, after all, is to '...put a boot up their ass'.
Perhaps, this irate and unfriendly neighbour,
Was doing his best to return the favour?

Mayhap he thought, 'The one way for George to know is to go where misery goes. Perhaps he will stumble upon the truth after a mile or two in my shoes? I shall lend him my weary souls'.

Who can judge this man for the steps he took? Life is always another way when the shoe is on the other foot.

C. Arthur Young