MJ

There are some people you don't think of as dead and Michael Jackson was one of them.

What I mean is that you assume they will live out their lives to a predictable outcome full of years and perhaps half forgotten, then you hear about their death which you respond to with a brief moment of sadness and fond nostalgia. But Jackson's death was so sudden and unexpected - what with a new tour just about to kick off - that there's almost  a kind of 'phantom limb' effect. A sort of static image left in that space in the collective psyche into which he was firmly placed.

The only other time the world seemed to gasp in disbelief and shared pain on this level, was when Princess Diana was killed - an event that lingered long with the Senior Fayed seeking his own brand of closure for years after.

For the generations that grew up entertained and educated by MJ's culture (and he was a centre of culture) his passing has revealed just how an individual can so perfectly fill a need, which perhaps we didn't even know we had, but was completely satisfied. For years he determined what we listened to and watched, how we danced, what we spoke about and even how we dressed.

Even though the footprints he left behind weren't always in perfect step it didn't matter, it was all a part of the mosaic that contributed to our cultural landscape. Whether it was his latest music video or surgical procedure or lawsuit - we followed it, and if we didn't follow it the media made sure that it followed us. No doubt his passing will be debated for months to come, and based on family spokesperson (though I suspect he is not in any sense official) Brian Oxman's tirade about 'enablers' and 'drugs', there will be those who will attempt to get as much mileage out of his passing for personal gain.

Oxman, speaking on CNN, began what sounded like a tearful, sincere report on the latest developments  from the hospital, ended his interview by turning the attention on himself, claiming to have predicted MJ's demise. Oxman referenced Anna Nicole Smith's death as a parallel for Jackson's situation - a star surrounded by people who meant him no good, plying him with drugs eventually leading to his death. Oxman vacillated between not knowing the cause of death to declaring near certainty. I suspect we will see much more of him.

In this age we are rarely given a moment of pause to digest events such as this. The irony is not lost on me that even now I am contributing to the ceaseless conversation. But perhaps, for a change, our writing and reading and watching and listening will be a collective mourning rather than just a media frenzy. For the media frenzy is sure to follow fast and furious. But whatever we think of MJ he spent himself on us. He seemed to pour himself out from near infancy to this day...for us. There is an undeniable ache of pity, gratitude and sympathy we feel for the dichotomy of his life: The breathtaking stage legend and the awkward even reclusive man-child. I can't imagine that there isn't a person wishing he is in a place where nothing painful can touch him.

Many of us may feel that a part of our childhood has died. It has.

Michael, you made us dance. Thank you.